dno

tml's my dad's birthday...and is also christmas eve, ya....u wish ar....let wad fucking christmas bring all your wishes and let me be ur friend...
i do hope u fucking seee dis huh?
dno...suddenly feel niave and feel lyk world is rly dependent on ur frens.....and ur friends make up ur world....

yea...loosing frens are common but it doesnt feel good when u dont want to make new ones or cnt make new ones.....

going to mj, but i dno a fuck abt wad i suppossed to do? or when i supposed to report...
hear wad 27 haf a subject thing? but noe no shit abt it, got me pissed as i felt how lost i am now at this period of time.

yea.
i shall nt get emo while talking to others isit?
den who to talk to?
yea...so i kip silent is e best as i would jus disappear down the next corner and walk in to darkness....

no christmas party dis year..and i am v. upset cos i haf nth to look forward to.

do i get affected by things too much? yes..i noe i do...

but i dun see a prob with dat? i noe tati am able to supress my feelings after geting emo.....
so i doubt i am having so much emotional problems huh?
hmmm...
maybe when i get to higher education, i should take social sciences huh?and be a psychologist?

i haf alot of things to say now,
went to vivo, den realised how shit fast spore is moving and i am lagging behind an economy seat.
i rly nid to do well nxt 2 years and move my self in to first-class, to be able to clinch a double degree in business at SMU.
big dreams huh? shit dreams i think...
dne.
i tot y nt go into e marine business instead.....yea....satisfying but lots of things to learn.....

dno la...whether its an emotional ride of my life or a psychotic ride, i noe i am not mentally
and physically prepared to embark my nxt phase of life....and certainly, i am nt feelig good abt it.

alot of things do happen huh?
hmmmmm..........
its 2 more wks and the start of a new term in a new school and a new environment and new friends...
can we hold on to what we had?
is one able to hold on to his or her old friends and in the process make new friend and enlarge his circle of friends?
i guess its really hard for such things to happen?
or do we jus take and go?
i dno?
ok...these days made me realised many things, why do ppl want to keep things to themselves? isit a glowing trend or wad?
letting the quietness overwhelm their lives?

dno
end here.

back.

back to singapore....means back to reality.....i get into mj....ok...tats good.tats one thing aside.....
yet....manythings bugged me......especially whne u haf no more time to rest when u come back.
ytd, went to skl early in e morning den.
at night went for national's piano competition final...
tachvoilsky's concerto.....god....he played lyk no one's business and no kick....in e spore's festival orchestra, spotted faces i tot i know,but i cnt identify them....ok..nvm lame...

today's event really set me back and made me realise how much more pain it is in the heart than it is on your skin.....
i had three events but ended up only fulfilling 1. totally sprained my ankle...tot it was alrite....
booked a cab and returned home, getting dulaned.
dad slping.mum out at market...returned home, got scolded by sis cos i entered my dad's room, i said i sprained my leg..

no replies..i limped all e way ard....din wan tell my mum abt it till she come home
msged her...
ok.
tats all i gonna talk abt this....it made me realised the yearning one have for love from his surroundings....
isolation i shall haf huh?
maybe i will feel better.....
i guess i am speechless now.....

one mistake leaves a legacy.

sian.

haiz...am i thinking too much or wad?...rachel say i haf a problem wit my attitude? or maybe e way i accept others...she reckon i shld change and try to adapt to my surroundings....so i can make more frens? ytd first time i think alot sia....for so long.....

do i rly nid to change? i am such a boring guy huh....so little frens-,-.....isit i isolate myself of wad? i jus cannot fit into the crowd around me......getting irritated even easier nowadays...maybe i am jus sensitive.....i shld change it.i noe.
but no ....'i am too mature for my age'.....yea..isit? haiz....i wonder if i should go e loner 'lu xian' lyk wad sam say...dno how dey survive.....

i haf been caring more abt how i carry myself to the world....isit tat crucial?or maybe i shld jus relax and nt think abt how i treat others or how i display my feelings......ok...later den post one more emo post

tired

hi everyone.i am here....if there is even anyone reading...tired through out e whole day....
alot of things happened.....sad things?good luck huh...e ppl

hmmm....abt e eunice thing....colleen, i blog another day.....i cnt process thots yet....tml soccer...hope gx will come ontime....and.....haiz.3 diff cliques playing...funny combi....hope its fun lyk last wk?2 cliques worked fine....duwan go actually...but is i organise one...how to not go...i duwan pia cab down again...f. tired.
ytd slp at 2.50...today morning end up waking up1.5hrs after scheduled time....tell me tired nt...dno la....haiz...today 2 dates failed....sad huh?

u guys dun worry bah...and i shall say smth....

family is still e most impt thing on this earth no matter how much u loath them or are appart from them.....
cya....

pls tag...no one......zzzz

great move?

hmm...talked to her today...maybe i did messed up her mind? or made her upset? i think thats something that would make her think even more sia.....but i hope it will speed up her process of healing....she said.....wad...'leave me alone'..i shall do dat den...dun ever regret....

hmmm damn late now......tired......but duwan slp..hahah...

my week was boring...went out with family 2 straight days....tml going out again.
haiz.
dno la....i dno wad i rly wan do during dis holidays.wan to jus go out, with some one who can accompany me but jus be my shadow.
stupid rite?i guess i care too much about my looks and hope of getting new clothes? but duwan spent e money on them....
ok...wil post later bah...

off to slp
bye

a day's thoughts

I guess this is my first entry of this blog huh?

ok...my parents jus got this video of yu dan , a professor talking about some book that helps one live his life....many things had gotten me related to.....i guess maybe i have too mature a thinking or wad? or maybe i think too much?

nvm....

lets first proceed to eunice blog huh?here...i will make sure everything is said clearly and no lies spoken.
it has been months since we both broke up....seriously speaking, i dont remember exactly how many months and days... and i do feel guilty about it, aint it wierd...and it makes me feel lyk an irresponsible ex.

back to where i am, i haf broken up with her for months....initially, i tot maybe i could rly still be her good fren and try to make her forget me by helping her. she gave me a diary, with our past memories in it. i wanted to reply the diary and write back, hoping words of mine could change her mind. yet, such a scheme was immediately put away by my heart due to the different difficulties and problems that appeared. then, our distance immediately flew apart. i would say, its inevitable, especially with eunice as your ex. i am nt being bad or direct, but tats true. till here, i shall pause, if u duwan to hear me out in this long post, stop reading.
would she ever let me go? meeting such problems and failures in life is inevitable, by holding on to them, only makes u sink even deeper into a world of your own, a world in which you are condemned by yourself. ok...i guess i shall end here first....talk again nxt time...bye