aint it jus weird

i rly doubt this blogis for the public.i should get a meter to see how many ppl read it.
believe it or not, i got 8points formy olevels.
getting good points?
good or bad...
mjc or tjc...
does it really matter.am i jus weird or am i putting pressure on myself.
i think i have to jus get use to what i have and not make so much noise about it.
i have been thinking ...abt me, and abt my frens lyk rebecca.

am i rly a good person? or jus one who irritates...
am i lieing to my self or isit good to do this.
i rly am lonely once more...or have i changed?
i realised the true meaning or being in a real world,
in one where life goes on, byurself, and no one else.
walking alone is smth i get used to now, and i really hope,
i am able to build up my own personality, into one in which will benifit my surroundings.

i rly dont want to talk more....busy is one thing, but satisfaction is another...

turing back allows one to seee the path in which he took, while facing front, one then realise the meaning or life.

me.

so there is a problem with me isit?
tio fucking gl by e stupid councillor...say i write too little...maybe i nt a true leader la...

wtf....
nvm...u guys watch.
now i haf no drive of being e house cap liao...
lyk i can even be.
now...dun feel lyk doing anything....or am i jus trying to escape from reality?
1 mistake rly hits all...lyk wad kukubird's trainer said...
now...wen xin, is angry wit me?
lyk i got do anything....
yea......and shes in my grp....

and am i still nt attracting attention?
or am i jus insignificant...
pls..

i am down, if no one noticed.
cos i cnt afford to pull u guys down...
only silence will prevail...

sian

back to sk...haha....sian.

lots to say....but little to reveal...MUAHAHAA..

wads new, tats me....hah...haiz....got alot of new ppl i get to noe...all nt bad....but quite hurt many ppl liao....
but a few eye candy....haiz....got one...nice ar...^^but no...wun get into any relationship...
haha...lac la...too tired to say much...dno la..i sound so cheerful...but i guess i nt....

ok bye(:

dno

tml's my dad's birthday...and is also christmas eve, ya....u wish ar....let wad fucking christmas bring all your wishes and let me be ur friend...
i do hope u fucking seee dis huh?
dno...suddenly feel niave and feel lyk world is rly dependent on ur frens.....and ur friends make up ur world....

yea...loosing frens are common but it doesnt feel good when u dont want to make new ones or cnt make new ones.....

going to mj, but i dno a fuck abt wad i suppossed to do? or when i supposed to report...
hear wad 27 haf a subject thing? but noe no shit abt it, got me pissed as i felt how lost i am now at this period of time.

yea.
i shall nt get emo while talking to others isit?
den who to talk to?
yea...so i kip silent is e best as i would jus disappear down the next corner and walk in to darkness....

no christmas party dis year..and i am v. upset cos i haf nth to look forward to.

do i get affected by things too much? yes..i noe i do...

but i dun see a prob with dat? i noe tati am able to supress my feelings after geting emo.....
so i doubt i am having so much emotional problems huh?
hmmm...
maybe when i get to higher education, i should take social sciences huh?and be a psychologist?

i haf alot of things to say now,
went to vivo, den realised how shit fast spore is moving and i am lagging behind an economy seat.
i rly nid to do well nxt 2 years and move my self in to first-class, to be able to clinch a double degree in business at SMU.
big dreams huh? shit dreams i think...
dne.
i tot y nt go into e marine business instead.....yea....satisfying but lots of things to learn.....

dno la...whether its an emotional ride of my life or a psychotic ride, i noe i am not mentally
and physically prepared to embark my nxt phase of life....and certainly, i am nt feelig good abt it.

alot of things do happen huh?
hmmmmm..........
its 2 more wks and the start of a new term in a new school and a new environment and new friends...
can we hold on to what we had?
is one able to hold on to his or her old friends and in the process make new friend and enlarge his circle of friends?
i guess its really hard for such things to happen?
or do we jus take and go?
i dno?
ok...these days made me realised many things, why do ppl want to keep things to themselves? isit a glowing trend or wad?
letting the quietness overwhelm their lives?

dno
end here.

back.

back to singapore....means back to reality.....i get into mj....ok...tats good.tats one thing aside.....
yet....manythings bugged me......especially whne u haf no more time to rest when u come back.
ytd, went to skl early in e morning den.
at night went for national's piano competition final...
tachvoilsky's concerto.....god....he played lyk no one's business and no kick....in e spore's festival orchestra, spotted faces i tot i know,but i cnt identify them....ok..nvm lame...

today's event really set me back and made me realise how much more pain it is in the heart than it is on your skin.....
i had three events but ended up only fulfilling 1. totally sprained my ankle...tot it was alrite....
booked a cab and returned home, getting dulaned.
dad slping.mum out at market...returned home, got scolded by sis cos i entered my dad's room, i said i sprained my leg..

no replies..i limped all e way ard....din wan tell my mum abt it till she come home
msged her...
ok.
tats all i gonna talk abt this....it made me realised the yearning one have for love from his surroundings....
isolation i shall haf huh?
maybe i will feel better.....
i guess i am speechless now.....

one mistake leaves a legacy.

sian.

haiz...am i thinking too much or wad?...rachel say i haf a problem wit my attitude? or maybe e way i accept others...she reckon i shld change and try to adapt to my surroundings....so i can make more frens? ytd first time i think alot sia....for so long.....

do i rly nid to change? i am such a boring guy huh....so little frens-,-.....isit i isolate myself of wad? i jus cannot fit into the crowd around me......getting irritated even easier nowadays...maybe i am jus sensitive.....i shld change it.i noe.
but no ....'i am too mature for my age'.....yea..isit? haiz....i wonder if i should go e loner 'lu xian' lyk wad sam say...dno how dey survive.....

i haf been caring more abt how i carry myself to the world....isit tat crucial?or maybe i shld jus relax and nt think abt how i treat others or how i display my feelings......ok...later den post one more emo post